I planned to lead a forest therapy session this morning, but no one showed up.

I spent some time last night creating Oracle cards of the trees that are in the grove that I was hosting the forest therapy session in. There were six cards, for the six types of trees in the grove: live oak, water oak, cedar elm, pecan, cypress and sugarberry. My intention was to let people intuitively select a tree to meditate by, and then hand them the card that has a message on it from the particular tree species that they chose. The cards would have been better laminated, but then when my husband tried to laminate them, the laminator screwed up and ate two of the cards that now I have to re-make. They were so pretty, though, and I am inspired. It is making me think of all kinds of Oracle cards I can make based on the messages from the universe that I get on my mindfulness walks on the nature trail.  I might make a whole Oracle deck to be a companion to the book of haikus and essays I am working on that is all based on the Shadow Creek Nature Trail.

I had also made tea and planned to serve it to my guests in cups that I brought from home.  In traditional forest therapy, you would serve the guests tea at the end of the session that was brewed from edible plants you collected along the trail.  I am not comfortable with my knowledge of edible plants right now, though, so I had brewed some Ashwagandha tea at home and brought it in a little thermos along with a container of honey and a spoon. When I realized no one was coming, I put the tea, cups and Oracle cards back in my car, and carried my yoga mat out to the grove of trees to engage in a solo forest therapy session.

I set up my yoga mat between two water oaks and drew two Oracle cards from the Mystic Forest deck. The cards I drew were “Let It Be” and “The Beginning”. To me, this suggested that I should just let go of my expectations and re-group later on how to start this business of offering forest therapy to the public. Then I sat and listened to the sounds of the forest. I closed my eyes and tried to visualize where and what each sound was, and count how many sounds I could hear. I did a series of check-ins with my body, feeling into each part from the head to the toes. I moved my neck and held it for several seconds on one side and then the other, up and down, seeing if the sounds I heard seemed different in each orientation. I listened to my breath and felt my body connecting to the earth. I stretched my arms up, reaching towards the tree branches, and also folded over my legs, stretching out my thighs and calves. After 30 minutes of this, I got up to hug and thank the water oak in front of me. I noticed it had a shape on its bark that looked like an eye, and thought about what it taught me to see inside myself.

I left my mat there with my deck of Oracle cards and went for a mindfulness walk along the creek. Along the way, I heard several whistling ducks calling, and then I saw them, a group of six of them in a little flock along the trail above the creek. Usually, they are down by the water or up in the sky, not here on the trail. They let me get pretty close before they flew off, chased by a noisy heron. Then, there was a Great Egret in an unlikely spot, ahead of me on the trail like how the ducks were. I usually only see them by the water. I was able to get pretty close before it flew off several feet, and then I got close again and it flew ahead just several feet again, watching me, or leading me? After three times, it finally flew to the bayou. On the way back, I saw six rabbits along the side of the trail, eating and looking unafraid. Usually, I have my dog with me and I don’t see any rabbits. I marveled at how cute and innocent they looked.

This morning, I felt bad leaving the house to do this forest therapy session, because I needed to spend time with Sebastian. I mainly went because I had planned this event and was expecting people. If I had known no one was showing up, I would have stayed home. I would have gotten more sleep.

At the same time, I feel really good physically, spiritually and mentally after that somatic exercise by the water oaks and the mindfulness walk. It filled my cup in so many ways, but I also have that touch of disappointment and a desire to figure out how to improve my communication and advertising in the future to actually have people show up for my event. I am also full of creative inspiration, but I also feel torn between creating art, soul work and family obligation.

On the way out of the trail this morning, something caught my eye, and I went to investigate.  It was a rolled-up paper plate with a shiny foil side.  In the reflection of the foil, I felt the paradox of sweetness and ache—that beautiful ache of wanting to offer my magic to the world, and the sting when it goes unseen. Normally, the Six of Cups tarot card represents nostalgia, memories, longing, childhood joy, the past shaping the presence. The six whistling ducks and the six rabbits I encountered on the trail mirror the core essence of the Six of Cups tarot card: returning to my inner child, my own self through nature’s mirror, through signs and symbolism, through the language of soul.

When and if I was to craft a card called Six of Ducks based on today, the feelings it would capture would be the hope of a soft new beginning coupled with the disappointment of not being met, of the healing that occurs anyway, perhaps due to this emptiness.  I imagine a woman setting a table for six but eating alone, with six ducks and six rabbits surrounding her and becoming her guests, a reminder that nature responds to authenticity, and that a creative act, even when unseen, still feeds the soul.